believe. pray. rejoice

lord,

please, if this is mine let it be.
please give me wisdom, courage, confidence and knowledge.
you know i pray so hard for this
please guide me
please give me this opportunity
i hope this path is the right direction i am taking
i know you'll give me what is good
i believe in you oh god
please guide me
thank you.

me

acne cure soap with tea tree oil

since i had a hard time looking for a product that will easily remove my zits, i went to a derma clinic and purchased this soap called Acne Cure's Pimple Soap with Tea Tree Oil (i haven't seen any pictures of it so forgive me) its very affordable but the smell isn't so good. initial reaction was mild, if you have a serious pimples and the redness is obviously severe it helps zits to dries up easily after 2 to 3 washes it dries up. hope this will work on you too. :)

confused.

i was a bit puzzled with what i have done this past 3 days. i have these questions inside my head

...am i negligent?

... am i hurting someone else's feelings? 

...am i being too selfish? 

... do i really know what love is?

...do i have to quit?

...do i need to...or do i have to?  

i have no idea what comes into my head why did i do that, as far as i remember i know my boundaries in life, i know my responsibilities being a friend and a lover. But why did i do that? i feel so sorry for hiding, for lying on you, for losing somehow feelings. honey i am so sorry for what i've done, maybe its true that i don't know how to love-- that it is only me i love and not you. 

...do i need time? to reflect

...do i need space? to miss you 

...do i need to let you go? to realize how important you are?

...do i need to be single? because im just so tired of being in a relationship 

i am so sorry...

forgive me.

i hope one day if you and i will be together forever, will have the courage to say this lies to you, i want to stay because i love you not because i just don't want to hurt you. 

i am not asking for a perfect relationship, all i want is a person who will stay with me forever.  

...a person who will put a smile on my face everyday

...a person who will comfort me in my most darkest day

... a person who accept me because this is me and i am being me

... a person who will not ask for many changes on me

... a person who won't insist things i don't want to do

... and a person who will appreciate my effort. 

im sorry.

so sorry.

i won't give up

dearest,

this letter is a simple reminder that despite the fact that i am imperfect and ideal girl for you. i won't give up. 4 years ago, you witnessed my most distressing day-  when he left me alone. 4 years after i am now happy with whom i love the most, its you! yes its you. thank you for loving me each day, for brightening up my eyes, for filling my empty heart. thank you for accepting me and our individual differences. this, i promise i won't give up. i will keep on holding your hands tight even on a toughest days, promise me you too will hold my hands tight and won't give up on everything.  just keep holding me. until we can.  until the end. i won't give up on you.

love,
me

question #15 (101 important questions to ask your life )

If you have one week left to live, what would you do? 

If my life has to expire in 168 hours I will surely live my life to the fullest, if there's any superlative statement to define 'fullest' then that should be it. This question is sort tough, but realistic. I always say this on my mind 'lord, if I will die today let me give at least an hour to apologize for what I did, to express my gratitude for what you've given me and a request to look after to the people whom I love the most'. A week is too short but I’ll certainly make it a momentous, extraordinary and blissful closing stage of my life. 

Day 1: I’ll quit on my job. Talk to my immediate superior and leave everything into the right place. Thank them for the laughter, for the good friendship built, for the hard core projects thank you! May you continue to provide our viewers, readers and listeners a one of a kind campaign! Kudos!

Day 2: Fix my room. Scrap my belongings that I don't need anymore, donate the clothes and books to the charity and give my coin bank to the kids on the street. Visit and say goodbye to my angles in RBI, thank you for giving me the chance to extend my purpose in life, you are all my angels. Kids, continue to fulfill your dreams, you may never see me but you never know how much you all touched my life. You are all gifted in many different ways, study hard and keep believing in your dreams. I pray that someday all of you see how beautiful our humanity is. iloveyou angels!

Day 3: Buy gifts for my family, friends and loved ones. Together, we’ll celebrate all important occasions in one day—on my last day. To celebrate your Birthday, Christmas, New Year, Valentines  etc., with me.

Day 4: Spend time with my friends. Out of town. Swimming. Get drunk. Get wild. Anything that means pleasure. Thank them for a good company, for the good friendship they’ve made with me, for molding me into a much grown person, for trusting me their secrets in life. Thank you! And please continue to write on my wall. Greet me during my birthdays, monthsaries, anniversaries and all occasions J

Day 5: Spend time with my love, in my dream land—Batanes. I swear before I die I must visit this smallest province, I want to breathe-in the freshness of his air, I want to walk on his streets, take a pictures on his solid houses (literally), buy and sip a coffee in his popular coffee shop, run like a kid, climb up in lighthouse while the air touches beneath my skin, sit down and look over the sunset in my dream land with my dream better half—the person I want to be with (hopefully). I kiss him with all my love—to feel that I seriously in love with him even his flaws. Hug him so tight to somewhat ease his fear that soon I’ll leave him, that the day after tomorrow he’ll no longer receive any message from me saying that I love him for the rest of my life. That after my leaving he’ll face challenges alone without me saying ‘love, you can do it!’ sorry for my shortcomings, for leaving him this early, for failing to fulfill his dream family with me, for not giving him kids. thank him for being such a wonderful person, for loving me unconditionally, for being my best friend, my lover, my enemy, my partner in crime. thank you for being you. Thank you for making me the princess of this lifetime. In the near future you’ll find someone you can build your dreams with—someone who’ll replace me I hope she’ll love you in her most faithfulness way. iloveyou and always take care of yourself. I’ll be watching over you iloveyou!

Day 6: Spend time with my family. Stay with them for my last day. Laugh with them, cry with them why this will going to happen, hug my muj and puj thank them for giving me a better life—education, life, home, happiness, support...everything! my siblings—for making me their nanny for almost 20 years (haha) may you continue to love our parents, take good care of them they are no longer young they need much attention from you in particular, thank you standing behind me through it all. Our dogs—for putting a smile on my face when they stare on me, the freedom are yours now! No one will make you pinch (sorry J). My nephews—for putting bliss in our family when you both dance, sing, eat, giggle, play etc., continue to study even more harder it’s for your future and always listen to your parents, tito and tita they'll guide you to be a better person. I’ll leave a picture with you both hoping someday you’ll visit me saying ‘tita here I am now, a renowned engineer, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or a pilot, or an artist or any dreams you want to become to as long as you’re happy with what you are doing. (Don’t get married yet!!!)

Day 7: The moment of truth. I’ll go to church. Sit. Look intently. Cry. Pray so hard. Asking for His forgiveness. Confess all my mistakes and accept my differences. Praying that if this day will end without me breathing anymore, look after my loved ones. Guide them each day, shower them more blessings, give them a happy life, hoping that they'll never forget me—that once in their lives I’ve touched them in so many different ways, to include me on their prayers for my peaceful rest in the arms of our God. To please accept me in your kingdom and thank you for giving me 23 years to live with the ideal family, ideal friends, ideal co-leagues, ideal job, ideal lover and ideal people. Thank you God for everything. I surrender my all to you. My time has come and my journey ends J

avery's bucket list

avery :) you are an angel 

an hour ago i was just sitting, yawning, downloading, listening, writing and all of a sudden i saw on yahoo news about this little angel-- avery lynn canahuati, a 5 month old baby from texas. oh god! i was so touched about her story, this little angel has a genetic disease which called SMA or spinal muscular atrophy. i salute to the parents of avery for giving her so much love and affection, a meaningful life even in a short span and unconditional love. may god continue to shower avery's parents more blessings as you help other kids suffering from this disorder. please visit  avery's blog site and keep supporting their campaign :). don't just read-- spread it!  and be aware.