confused.

i was a bit puzzled with what i have done this past 3 days. i have these questions inside my head

...am i negligent?

... am i hurting someone else's feelings? 

...am i being too selfish? 

... do i really know what love is?

...do i have to quit?

...do i need to...or do i have to?  

i have no idea what comes into my head why did i do that, as far as i remember i know my boundaries in life, i know my responsibilities being a friend and a lover. But why did i do that? i feel so sorry for hiding, for lying on you, for losing somehow feelings. honey i am so sorry for what i've done, maybe its true that i don't know how to love-- that it is only me i love and not you. 

...do i need time? to reflect

...do i need space? to miss you 

...do i need to let you go? to realize how important you are?

...do i need to be single? because im just so tired of being in a relationship 

i am so sorry...

forgive me.

i hope one day if you and i will be together forever, will have the courage to say this lies to you, i want to stay because i love you not because i just don't want to hurt you. 

i am not asking for a perfect relationship, all i want is a person who will stay with me forever.  

...a person who will put a smile on my face everyday

...a person who will comfort me in my most darkest day

... a person who accept me because this is me and i am being me

... a person who will not ask for many changes on me

... a person who won't insist things i don't want to do

... and a person who will appreciate my effort. 

im sorry.

so sorry.